49th Day After Death

Which was today. As probably over 90% of my readers are from places that are not Japan I will explain why this date is important.

The dictionary states that souls of the dead alternate between the after world and this world during the seven weeks after death. There is a memorial service on the 7th, 49th, and 100th day after death.

Japanese funerals are probably one of the most expensive - Averaging 2.3 million Yen ($30, 500 CAD). My guess is that first there is probably not a whole lot of space to plant the grave stone at these days, and second seems to be the memorial services. There is a whole bunch within the first year after death but every year after for five years or so there will be memorial services. I don't know what all goes on in them as today was the first but there seems to be a lot of money being passed around.

The family gives the money to the Buddhist monks at the wake. The monks give the family some money afterwards. The family gives more money to the monks. Other family members give the immediate family money. The immediate family gives back the money in the form of food (Everyone goes out to eat and the immediate family pays for it). More money to the monks.

Today my family went over to my husband's uncles house where the five of us plus my husbands aunt and the monk were all crowded in a tiny, tiny room. (Everyone's knees were touching if that helps give you a visual) The monk began chanting some sutras (Or just one very long one) and at the end of it my legs were dead. Because I had to sit on a Japanese pillow, in a traditional Japanese sitting position, for an hour. You try sitting on your legs for an hour! It's hard, man! I stood up afterwards, and guess what happened.

If you guessed that I fell down, you were right! Choco cookie for you! Luckily my husband caught me. It was kind of like a movie scene where the male lead catches the female and sweeps her off her feet, except that it involved a tiny room and many people (So you can probably imagine that the other people are ducking out of the way).

So I've been told that there will be many more times like tonight where there is painful sitting, a monk, chanting and afterwards a restaurant and meal paid for by my husband's aunt. She's a sweet lady although I haven't really been properly introduced to her so I don't even know her name.

A Mother's Mirror

A Mother's Mirror - A Japanese story that I thought I would share.

A long time ago there was a young samurai and his wife who lived in a small town. They had a daughter. Every year the father had to leave for Tokyo to do some samurai errands, while the young wife stayed at home with her daughter and waited for his return. He never failed to bring back presents for the two of them. Cakes and sweets for the two of them and pretty dolls for the daughter. The most treasured souvenir was a hand mirror for his wife. She was intrigued by the mirror because she had never seen such an object before. This was long ago when mirrors were only common for royalty and so common folk were sometimes surprised to see a face staring back at them.

This was true for the wife, she saw a face in it but did not recognize it as her own. It was a young, beautiful face smiling at her so she went to her husband and asked who was in the mirror. He proudly smiled and replied that it was she in the mirror, it was her own face. From that moment on she kept it safe from harm in a drawer for several years, taking it out every so often but always handled it carefully. She loved it so because it was a present from her husband.

After a few blissful years of happiness, the wife suddenly became very ill. Knowing that she would die soon, she called her daughter to her bedside and gave the mirror to the young girl.

"My lovely daughter, you know that I am ill. I need you to listen very carefully now. I won't be alive much longer but please don't grieve for my death. Look into this mirror and you will always see me."

After the mothers death, the daughter always would stare into the mirror, everyday, and was always happy to see her mothers face inside. She did not know that it was her own face she was looking at, when she looked into the mirror she had truly believed that it was her mother looking back at her because the daughter looked exactly like her mother, only much younger. Many times she would speak to the mirror, telling it her secrets and daily stresses until finally her father asked her why she was speaking into the mirror every day.

"Every time I look into this mirror, I see mother looking back at me. She looks young, healthy and beautiful and it helps encourage me to work hard everyday even though she never speaks a word." The father, who knew the truth of how the mirror worked, said nothing and let tears spill down his face.